In the suitcase on the left you'll find my favorite axe. Don't look so frightened, this is just a passing phase, one of my bad days. - Pink Floyd
im missing you @ 10:48 a.m. on 2003-01-25
I feel like I have been abandoning my diary. I don't like feeling that way. I am back!
I've done a whole lot of nothing lately and that seems to be catching up to me.
Tara is as beautiful as ever!
She's in the midst of creating a diaryland diary, so if you are really as cool as you say you are, you will go visit my girl. :)
Hmm...I had a really bad day on Friday...I will share my colorgenics from Friday;
For some time now you have been feeling rather insecure. You are looking for - and needing - an environment that can offer you roots, stability and a position that will relieve you of excess tension and stress.
Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.
All of your stress arises from lack of mutual understanding. The existing situation is unsatisfactory and you feel that you are unable to improve it without the help and co-operation of others. The need for understanding and for affectionate 'give and take' remains unsatisfied. You are experiencing the feeling of being 'handcuffed' - 'tied down' - 'hindered' - 'restrained' and this untenable situation is giving rise to impatience, irritability and the desire to escape from it all.
In the past your trusting attitude has often been misunderstood and so you have needed to protect yourself against your tendency to be abused and taken advantage of. As a consequence you possibly adopt an aloof and critical attitude and you are only willing to let your guard down once sincerity and trustworthiness can be assured.
You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.