my darling heart
im missing you @ 8:25 p.m. on 2003-01-21
my darling heart, ... ambition, enthusiasm and confidence. Everything is glorious." -F. Scott Fitzgerald
Faintly, I hear you whisper...a soft, innocuous voice that drowns the sound of my meterology teacher. He's talking about clouds and rain and sunshine. And all that I can do is imagine lying beneath those beautiful things with you. Dancing, Breathing, Smiling.
The raspberry tea is too hot but I sip it anyway. I like the burning feeling as it tickles and soothes my esophagus.
I imagine the way your kiss would feel somewhat like that, tickling and soothing so much more than my esophagus...my body, my heart, my mind, ... my lips ... my ...
I think about the way my insides are screaming to get out.
I laugh at myself sometimes.
The girl at the table beside me left the XL shirt size sticker on the sleeve of her pullover. I'm debating on whether or not to tell her and I figure I'll let someone else brake it to her.
Inside, I laugh at her too.
I'm a flaming giggle box.
You know that, though.
I imagine myself categorized,
like the periodic table of elements
or the food chain,
a chain gang.
All figured out,
a brass collar democrat,
in the pulpit of a baptist church
during Sunday night revival,
the hot and sweaty choir,
afraid to admit that they
perspire like everyone else,
but you and me, we're honest.
even if we aren't all figured out
and our honesty kills us everytime
we admit that a vagina pleases us more than a slong
and we still need people to love us
and we still need to be human,
to be woman,
to be alive.
I like going without my bra from time to time,
the feeling of the cotton tee against my chest is soothing
and I wish it were always like this.
like peace and joy and love,
and you
and me,
sans brazierre,
without suspense,
without a worry in the world.
I love you, my darling heart.
Tainted love,
dance with me
on this frozen Tuesday afternoon,
in tall gym socks...
those Birkenstocks.
Lean into me,
so I can warm you
and hear your teeth touch
as this overtakes you.
pull into me.
like the knights held their ladies
at the midnight ball,
I'll hold you.
give into me,
ride the heavens,
forget the steps.