sometimes it's not fair
im missing you @ 5:23 a.m. on 2003-01-16
I don't know if she knows just exactly what she does to me.
I have been at a loss of words lately...partially because my mind is so scattered right now and partially because there's no words great enough to express this.
I am obsessed with the morning and the night.
I miss her at all times of the day, but most of all when I'm climbing into my bed and thinking about her...doing the same thing.
And, I think it's so not fair.
Her...there...in her great big bed, creating a nest of pillows and blankets and thoughts, in attempt to keep warm.
And, I think it's so not fair.
It wouldn't take much for me to keep her warm...to snuggle in close to her and wrap my arms around her body, next to mine...clinging to her like I do the teddy bear in my bed that attempts to fill her space, but can't even begin to.
And, I think it's so not fair.
Her...there. Me...here. Both of us wanting and craving and needing.
And then I remind myself that there's a reason for everything.
Fate has taken care so far. I know that it will continue to.
But, it's mornings like this when a Tylenol could not clear this aching head...when a few more hours of sleep could not cure me from being so jaded and nothing could keep me from regretting the fact that I have to go to school...
but she could.
She could take this headache away with her soft voice and lips. I hate when people talk when I have a headache, but I could listen to her for hours.
We could just stay in bed on a day like this, call in sick, and just fall back into each others' warmth...in her great big bed, that is our great big bed.
But, that's not true...she's asleep right now, lying in her bed by herself, snuggled in the middle, creating a nest of pillows and blankets and thoughts, in attempt to keep warm.
And it's not fair.