Nowadays, ... trust, honesty, existence ... carries a high price
im missing you @ 12:05 p.m. on 2003-02-21
Nowadays,
my body bruises
and I don't notice
my better side looses
and I've ceased to see.
or care.
Trust.
is a two-faced element
of human existence
and self consciousness.
Honesty jacks up
my living death
and dying grief
and utter-fucking-pain.
Existence.
shouldn't be this grusome.
Honesty.
shouldn't be this shameful.
and pain shouldn't be so comforting
but that's the way
the twisted whirlwind steers.
over seascapes, and highways and prisons with chains
and the thrill to escape is
the alternative of dying in vain.
but, maybe I'd rather.
I wish I could say,
I am an honest person
but honesty
would consist in being me
and being free.
and no one has that these days.
We're all fucking liars.